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Yesterday, before I left for my pastoral care day at the hospital, I started grumbling to my husband; fatigued and bearing a list of things that needed to get done, I was looking for an excuse not to go. Of course he saw right through me and gave me this challenge:
They’ll be one person there today, whom you’ll least expect to be the one the Lord wants to encourage—
Look for him and text me later.
Off I went…still grumbling of course, while recalling a portion of the Rule of St Benedict which says that grumbling and faint heartedness are a failure to remember the goodness of God. I prayed, ‘Lord forgive me and
…prepare my heart and body for the battle of holy obedience to Your instructions. What is not possible to me by nature, let me ask the Lord to supply by the help of his grace.’
—The Rule of St Benedict, Prologue 40-41
Halfway through the morning rounds, I was in the moment, but still plagued with the mental background noise of all I needed to get done….until I entered a room on the fourth floor.
The patient by the window on my list was asleep, so I prayed softly by his bedside and turned to leave, smiling as I passed his roommate. But, before I made it to the door’s threshold, he spewed a litany of complaints with fervor, frustration and an assortment of colorful expletives.
Nobody gives a bleep about me in this bleeping place.
Pointing to his sleeping roommate, he continued,
Every bleepin night they come in…nurses, doctors– giving him all kinds of attention.
Me? I gotta go to the bathroom and have to ring for half an hour before I see a bleepin face.
Who the bleep is he that he gets all the help?
On it went for a few more sentences, during which time I was asking the Holy Spirit to help me know what to say and do.
In the last year I’ve only walked out on one patient and that was the one who saw my Benedictine cross and screamed at the top of her lungs for me to get out of her room …
That’s a story for another day.
I clarified with this gentleman that I was not a nurse, but from pastoral care and that it was my job to pray with patients…
Then I knelt close to him and said;
Have you asked God for help?
Suddenly, his cantankerous clamor stopped, and after taking a moment to think– out it came,
Once, I called on God to help me. It was a long time ago; I met Him in a foxhole in Vietnam.
My drill Sargent and my mom both told me, that if I had faith, I’d come out alive…
But if I ever lost faith, I’d never come home.
People’s stories are absolutely amazing and time, after time, after time…they literally take my breath away.
I saw tears fall down the cheeks of this veteran’s hardened, sun lined, face. Putting my hand on his shoulder, I trusted the Holy Spirit’s direction and asked,
And where’s your faith today?
God brought you out of a foxhole once when you called on Him…now, here you are, again in a foxhole of sorts,
perhaps not a violent one…but maybe one just as life threatening.
Normally at this point, I might offer a prayer, but again I felt the Holy Spirit directing me to ask him if he’d like to pray.
Filled with deep passion, slowly and deliberatly articulating every word, this was his prayer:
Lord Jesus, I thank you so much for dying on the cross for me. You offered Yourself up on that bloody cross to save me.
No body has a better friend than one who is willing to die for him.
Forgive me for forgetting how you saved me..and love me.
Help me to have faith in You again.
I tell you …I will never forget this dear veteran’s prayer as long as I live.
As soon as I left the hospital, I pulled out my phone to text my husband.
You were right…There was one patient I was sent to today, but as usual he wound up encouraging me..
Tell you about it tonight …
It has to do with foxholes.
+PAX
February 1st, 2013 at 10:50 pm
Oh Caroline..tears here!
Praise God for using you to minister to him like that!
My hubby is a Vietnam Vet and still has struggles over the horrors he went through.
Thank you for ‘being there’ for that man..for not walking out when he let loose with his pain.
I’m so glad they still let you pray with patients!
Here in Australia, it seems to be getting much harder to get permission for hospital chaplains to see people
blessings..Trish xx
February 2nd, 2013 at 1:42 am
Trish, God bless your husband for his service..I pray constantly for all those who are so scarred by the ravages of war and for those in law enforcement as well..
The real story is that the patients at the hospital wind up ministering to me more than I ever do to them. Every day I’m there it’s a privilege, though sometimes I may grumble at the outset : (
We are very blessed at this hospital..They are extremely welcoming and cooperative (including the staff) and I work under two great chaplains.
God Bless you always and +
February 2nd, 2013 at 2:26 am
O my. This is one of THE most moving things I have ever read in my life. O my.
February 2nd, 2013 at 2:41 am
Nancy, I just feel so small in the light of God’s mercies and His awesome love for people.
Blessings always +
February 2nd, 2013 at 1:06 pm
The Holy Spirit was really with you that day. You are blessed.
May He continue to bless you. Please pray for me. Thanx.
God bless.
February 2nd, 2013 at 4:15 pm
Victor, I’ll be glad to offer prayers for you and your family.
Be blessed and thanks for your great blog. +
February 2nd, 2013 at 11:51 pm
I hope it’s okay that I took the liberty of linking to this post from the Breadbox Letters blog today. I wish everyone in the world could read what you’ve written… it’s such a powerful account of what can happen if we just turn to God, no matter what state we’re in at the time.
February 3rd, 2013 at 2:22 am
Of course I don’t mind, Nancy.. I’m grateful the Lord can use anything I might do for Him despite how I trip over myself in the process. : ) +
February 3rd, 2013 at 3:16 am
I am visiting from The Breadbox Letters. What a gift to read this story. Thank you for sharing it.
February 3rd, 2013 at 3:08 pm
Kathleen, Thank you so much for taking the time to stop by and comment. All for His Glory.
Blessings and +
February 3rd, 2013 at 8:08 pm
Such a moving story and a wonderful testimony to the power of the Holy Spirit working through people! I’m so glad you shared this with us. Thank you!
February 3rd, 2013 at 8:36 pm
Mary..You’re so welcome. It is all the HS and He loves His people. I try to pass on the encouragement because we certainly hear enough on all fronts about the difficult challenges we face in our times. Blessings and +